Attention Sir, Madam, Weavers from all schools, and Familiars!
Are you tired of having to scour town after town around the countryside as you search for that final piece to finish the last stage of construction on your storm walker, portal containment, ray gun, boiler unit, or other devices with world ending properties?
Do you spend hours sifting through stall after stall at your local Market for that last ingredient that is absolutely required for your stew, dinner, alchemical device, potion, charm, drink, or trap?
Have you ever spent an entire week focusing thread for those extra special one-off castor crystals that ensure everything must die, only to realize you were missing a sealing cap or an activator pattern for your shells? And that one place that sells them was closed? While you waited for them to open for those emergency purchases your weaves have unraveled in the meantime, wasting that entire week of work!
Is your habitat so far away that importing any of your favorite foods would be impossible? Do you require special grasses only grown from a region near your home and it costs a fortune in shipping to fulfill your dietary needs?
Are you just tired of going to the same tiresome markets week after week where the layout and shops never change? All of the traps and pitfalls have been discovered and marked, leaving nothing to chance? That the element of danger or rush of excitement has gone out of your trip?
Have you repeatedly found yourself thinking, ‘My market just doesn’t cater to my needs. The selection of products is meager and lacking in quality.’?
Do you find yourself constantly paranoid, watching over your shoulder for that Hero or Constable how has sworn not to rest until you’ve been captured, put behind bars or executed? Would you like to just shop in peace? Or do you finding yourself wishing that you had such an enemy while you shopped?
If you answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions, read on! Or go back inside and shut your windows!
Greetings, my aspiring guests! I will introduce myself. I am Fredrick MacSweeny. Perhaps you’ve heard of me and my many adventures and exploits. If not, I will forgive you for living under a rock, this one time. How else would you have missed the sky turning neon pink every last Fensday of the Month? You won’t shut me down that easily, Vicktor!”
It has been my vision to build the absolute be all and end all of all Markets for everyone to come to and enjoy. This vision has taken me ten long years to complete. But at last, at the base of the Dead Mountains where no one could observe or thwart my construction or put a stop to me until it was too late, my dream has come to reality.
Weavers, Familiars and everyone else, I formally invite you all to the grand opening of ‘MacSweeny’s Maniacal Material Market.’ We aim to be your single stop destination for your every need!
Here at MacSweeny’s, you will find every conceivable device, mechanical, material, pattern, ingredient, organics, and weapon you could ever want! All this to power yourself, create and build anything you can imagine or power your exotic weapons, clankers, death bots, and castor guns.
For those looking at little closer to home domination, we carry produce grown from all known habitations around Sari for all your food requirement needs. With our in-house portalling system we can have fresh grazing material from your habitat within hours! Butcher shops are standing by to fulfill your special orders. In our world showcase departments, you can also find furniture and household goods to fill every room in your house in any fashion you desire.
If we do not have the item, we will find it for you! New stock and shops rotating every month!
Over eight stories above ground of shops, stalls, departments, and booths, we have the room to grow! You can wander lost for days on end inside MacSweeny’s and not see the same shop twice. Not to worry, there are regularly updated maps and food stalls everywhere to keep you from starving to death and allow you to continue your quest for that item.
Bring your offspring! There is entertainment for them as well! Water slides, amusement rides, a ball pit so large it will boggle your mind! Fun for all ages! There are even entire floor sections dedicated for the younger guests to keep them occupied while you buy that last evaporator coil for your death ray.
For those more adventurous, craving danger that lurks around every corner, MacSweeny’s is powered by state of the art Bix Systems Transactional Engine built exclusively for MacSweeny’s! On your request we can compute, design and run a uniquely tailored experience full of peril, danger and mayhem as you shop, fight, and defend your way through the Market. For those seeking safety, our specially designed engine can keep you protected anywhere on the Market grounds so that you can shop in peace.
Last but certainly not least, for those that bore of the same layout, MacSweeny’s Engine can compute and re-arrange stores, floors and shops so that every time you visit, it is new and fresh for you to re-explore, hunt for traps and dangers and new secrets so that you will never get bored!
I’m Fredrick MacSweeny, and I expect to see you all at our grand opening of MacSweeny’s Maniacal Material Market in two weeks time… or else.
Are we done here? We’re done here. Turn off the skywriter. Yes right now, any longer and nature cannot reco….